Making online appointments safely as a client

How do you screen a provider, which red flags can you spot in a listing, and how do you make contact safely ahead of a first appointment?

Making appointments safely: a guide for both clients and providers

In the first months after the Amsterdam platform went live, we regularly received questions from clients booking an appointment for the first time who were unsure how to verify whether a provider was genuine. The questions ranged from "how do I know whether the photos are real?" to "what do I do if something feels off at the appointment?" This guide summarises the practical screening and safety tips we share in our contact flow, structured as a pillar for two related pieces that go into greater detail on red flags and on the incall-versus-outcall choice.

What is and is not within our reach

Before we begin: we are a platform that publishes listings from verified providers. We are not present at the appointment itself, we do not make reservations and we have no role in payments between client and provider. What we do is run a verification process before a listing receives the "Verified" badge — a photo check via a watermark-and-pHash pipeline, a human identity check, and where there is any doubt an additional ID check. During our first ten weeks in the Amsterdam market we rejected three applications on grounds of unverifiable age documentation; that experience has been embedded in the current onboarding process.

For clients, this means that the "Verified" filter in the sidebar of the catalogue is the simplest first step towards minimising the chance of a mismatch. But the filter is not a guarantee against all forms of risk — it only guarantees that the identity and photos have been checked. The rest of the screening remains the responsibility of the client and provider.

The four basic steps for a first appointment

Based on what we see recurring in practice, we recommend these four steps for a first appointment:

1. Check the profile thoroughly.

Click through to the details. Read the full text, not just the lead description.
Check whether a "Verified" badge is present. Although not every good provider has one (some have deliberately not applied for it), its presence is a strong signal that the identity has been checked.
Read the reviews. Approved reviews count towards the star rating; reviews in moderation or rejected ones do not. A listing without reviews is not automatically suspicious — new profiles by definition do not yet have any — but for a first appointment with an unknown provider a readable review trail provides additional reassurance.

2. Cross-check the photos against other sources.

Our pHash pipeline compares listing photos with the selfie submitted during KYC. Clients can additionally run a reverse image search on a few of the profile photos themselves. This detects reuse of photos from unknown third parties — a pattern that recurs regularly in older fraudulent prostitution-related setups.
Not every match found means fraud — a provider may also advertise on another platform — but photos that come from full model portfolios or stock photo libraries are a red flag.

3. Choose a safe communication channel.

WhatsApp and Telegram are the most widely used channels on the platform. Both are end-to-end encrypted for messages.
For a first appointment we recommend communicating via the channel the provider indicates on their profile. Sending a first message via a different channel (for example a platform message rather than WhatsApp) is acceptable, but do not deviate from what the provider indicates as their primary channel.

4. Arrange to meet at a safe address.

For incall: a hotel room or a private address that the provider has indicated themselves is normal. A hotel lobby with the instruction "I'll call you when I'm there" is not unusual.
For outcall: your hotel or accommodation. Do not give a full private address in the first contact; a hotel name is sufficient. A provider who specifically asks for your full private address as the very first step is a minor red flag.
Our pillar on location safety goes into greater depth on the incall-versus-outcall choice.

What we see in our data as recurring red flags

During the first twelve months in the Dutch market we identified a number of patterns that in practice consistently correlate with problematic appointments. We list them briefly here; for a more comprehensive treatment see our spoke piece Red flags and screening.

Profiles with no descriptive text at all — only photos and a phone number. In our data these are invariably new profiles that go offline again within a few weeks. We have not been able to take firm enforcement action in these cases without a specific complaint.
Providers offering disproportionately large discounts for "today bookings". This is a pattern that in our data correlates with applications that are subsequently rejected during KYC.
Unanswered communications during working hours for profiles listed as available. Sometimes a legitimate issue (a busy day), but repeated non-response is a signal to keep looking.
Clients who feel unsafe during the appointment — we need not spell this out. Trust your instincts; leave the location; contact the police if necessary (112 in emergencies, 0900-8844 for non-urgent matters).

What we cannot offer

An honest caveat: we do not have a "panic button" in the app. A button that alerts the police or a pre-specified contact is a feature we are considering for a future iteration, but it does not exist yet. In the meantime, your own mobile phone is the most practical backup: a text message to a friend with your location and the agreed duration is a minimal safety measure that recurs regularly in our internal contact flow as "what I do as standard practice".

For providers the equivalent is a "buddy system": a trusted person who knows where you are and when you should have checked out again. PMW can provide practical advice on how to set up such a system if you are new to the work.

Agreeing on a duress code — a practical tip from our contact flow

A pattern that came up several times in the first months of the Amsterdam platform in questions from experienced providers is the concept of a duress code: a pre-agreed phrase sent to your trusted person (partner, friend, or another safe third party) that confirms you are not safe without the client in the same room recognising the warning. A simple example: a check-in message saying "all fine, cooking moment in an hour" is normal; "all fine, I'm home for the cooking appointment" is the duress-code variant that tells the trusted person to take action. We recommend agreeing the specific phrasing individually — a generic template could be recognised by a client who happens to have read the same guide. For those who want training in this area, PMW is again the practical resource.

What we do not yet measure

An honest caveat for clients and providers using this guide: we have no end-to-end telemetry on the actual safety of appointments booked on the platform. We see what is reported to our reporting channel, and that is an incomplete picture. One of the items on our internal roadmap for 2027 is a voluntary post-appointment feedback question — similar to what some travel platforms do — focused specifically on safety rather than satisfaction. We have not yet built this because the privacy requirements around such a feature need to be worked out carefully; a suboptimal design can do more harm than good. It stands as an open question in our backlog.

Privacy and data protection in online contact

For clients who are concerned about what happens to their communication data — a legitimate question we receive increasingly often — a few relevant frameworks:

GDPR guidance on dating and booking apps. The Autoriteit Persoonsgegevens has published specific guides on privacy rights in dating and booking apps since 2024; these are largely applicable in a sex-work context as well. Core principles: data minimisation, right of access and erasure, and the prohibition on reselling profile data.
PrEP guidance for clients. Soa Aids Nederland has included a specific PrEP section for clients who book regularly since 2024 — relevant for those who want to follow up the online screening step with concrete health preparation.
Victim support after an incident. Slachtofferhulp Nederland is free and discreet; for clients or providers seeking support after an appointment — emotional or legal — this is the cross-sector channel.
IT Helpdesk Safe Internet. The government initiative Veilig Internetten publishes guides on WhatsApp and Telegram settings, end-to-end encryption, and dealing with phishing. For clients and providers who want to strengthen their communication channels, this is the practical starting point.

When we can take action

If a listing or client behaves in a way that contravenes our guidelines — for example reuse of photo material, claiming services that are not delivered, or harassment via messages — you can report this via the report button on the profile or via admin@sexy-escort.nl. In cases of justified reports we request amendments or remove the profile. We operate a 24-hour SLA on reports during working days.

For emergencies (acute physical danger, coercion) the police is the appropriate channel — 112 for urgent situations. Suspicions of human trafficking can be reported anonymously to Meld Misdaad Anoniem on 0800-7000.

SafetyMaking online appointments safely as a client